You can't fix what you can't see

Sometimes we need a friend to help us see what we cannot.

You can't fix what you can't see
Photo by Vince Fleming / Unsplash

Good feedback is fabulous but hard to Find

Years ago, I was in the studio teaching my class, when out of the corner of my eye, I see two people standing, whispering and observing me.

What are they doing!? I thought in my head.

I kept on going as if it wasn’t weird that they were in my class watching me.

When the class was over they walked over and gave me a few compliments then asked If I wanted to join the group they were starting.

I laughed a little... and was like...

Ugh...I don’t join groups, I lead them.
(I know humble right lol)

But it was true. Nearly every dance crew I’d ever been in I either started or led.

I was the leader. I was always the leader.
I mean, I couldn’t even imagine it being any other way.

But after a few days of coercing, my curiosity got the best of me and I joined the group.

One day after finishing up a late rehearsal, Phil, (our leader) gathered us around the small tv in front of the studio to watch our rehearsal from that night.

Well, this is different... I thought.

We all crouched around the tv, then Phil explained not only were we going to watch the rehearsal, but we were also going to zoom in and critique each person one by one. The room filled with tension.

And so it went... dancer by dancer, we zeroed in and gave our critiques.

Then about halfway through, it was my turn.

One by one, each dancer gave their praise and acclamations.

I felt great.

But then when I was almost in the clear, Hazel, one of the lead dancers calmly and kindly spoke up.

Yes, you do a great job hitting all of the moves, but look at your shoulders.
They're really stiff.
If you relax them, you'd look 100x better

I was like wait! What!!
"Roll that back"

We watched it again.
And she was right.
My shoulders were to my ears!!

Why didn't I see that before?
I've always worked hard on my dancing, but somehow I missed that very obvious detail.

Even to this day, I am aware of my tendency to hold tension in my shoulders. So if by chance you see me rolling my shoulders back and down. Please remind me to thank Hazel.

Her gift of fierce feedback is still serving me today.

👉 Where in your work, might you use more kind and fierce feedback to help you see what you cannot?

I'd love to hear from you.
Reply back to this email, or leave a comment below.

PS: If you are a solopreneur like me, getting friendly yet fierce feedback on your projects can be tricky.

So as a toast to us doing work that cultivates change, I'm holding
two feedback circles to help you get some fresh perspectives on your work.

Spaces are limited. 👉 Grab a spot while you can.

Subscribe for weekly insights. No spam, just sparks.